North Carolina

Wow, i haven't wrote an entry in a while. I have been in North Carolina for the past week, and I'm finally going home tomorrow morning. Finally is supposed to be out there if you know what i mean, and if you dont i will explain it to you.. i have prety much had almost the worst week of my life, when you are stuck in a house with family, some are alike and some are different. The people that are alike colide, they bump heads and the people that are different, stay out of the way of the people who are the same. if that makes sence at all.. my sister and my cousin are alike one another, not completely alike, there are some great differences but the similarities colide hard.. its bad.. my cousin is 6 months older than my sister and my cousin thinks that, that makes my sister immature and her mature. i dont think my cousin realizes that what she does to get back at my sister is very, VERY immature. . my sister has pretty much been the bigger person in this whole dramatic situation and for that i applaud my sister.. because she barely is the bigger person in my and her fights. but my cousin she is very immature, she thinks just becuase she is 17, skinny, and pretty, she can be the one in charge of everyone, but the thing she doesnt realize is that she is not at all. but enough about my over baring bitchy cousin. Oh and one more thing, i could always loose weight, but you will always be a bitch.

So i spent a whole week without him. . it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do, i missed him more than i have missed anyone in my whole entire life. this whole week without him just made me see clearly, i love him more than anything. he is my world now, and i dont ever want that to go away, my lips cant describe how much he means to me. He is everthing, and i would do anything for him. i have missed him so much, maybe it was good for me to go on this trip.. maybe it wasnt. but all i know is that i dont want to ever leave him again. i miss his touch and his hugs and his smell and his lips and his voice, i miss everything about him and im glad im going home, and my whole reason for going home is so i can see him.

Clean up on Aisle 3.

One of my great friends is going through such a tough time right now. It abosolutely kills me to see her like this. Especially that its over some guy, who broke her heart into a million peices. he killed her. he killed her, and left her body to me. I've never seen someone like the way she is now. the things she tells me just make me want to kill the son of a bitch who did this to her. But if i killed him, she would be mad at me, mainly becuase she still loves him. This i don't understand, how could you love someone that hurts you? how could you still want to be with the person that made you cry yourself to sleep coutless times? especially when you look at him, and he can't even look you in the eye anymore. Do you really think he is crying HIMSELF to sleep at nights? do you think this had any effect on him at all? The girls are always the ones who are crying and the boys are always the ones who had caused the tears streaming down faces. I dont understand how you could still want to let him hold you, because if it was me, i would want nothing to do with the guy who broke my heart like it was worth a penny. Because i know that my heart it worth more then just a penny, or a nickle, or a dime. my heart is supposed to be whole and not splattered on the floor like a glass jar full of jam that was knocked off the counter. And her heart, it's a mess, it had stopped beating when it got knocked of the counter, he did that to her, he was the one who wasn't paying attention and knocked it off with his elbow. It kills me to say, but this is going to be a long mess thats going to have to be cleaned up soon, and if the paper towels are too late getting there, then no one is going to have Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches anytime soon. but don't worry, i have the paper towels right here, ready.

I LOVE YOU.

You say you love me, i believe you, dont get me wrong, i do. i always say i love you too, but do you believe me? do you know how much i love you ? i love you so much, i love you too much. you mean everything to me. People say that we wont last, but i think we could last a life time, if we both really tried.

remember that night? the night i was crying? i thought i was going to loose you, i don't think i am ready to loose you, i don't think ill ever be ready.

Me v.s the world. No one is winning though.

This is my first blog. I got to say, i love to write and having a blog will give me a chance to show you or anyone how good i can be at writing.

Before actually blogging things, i think you should know some things about me,

I have amazing friends, Shane my best friend that's not in the group but could be if he wanted to be. And there's the group or the gang, Kristen, Kristina, Stephanie, Lauren, and Hallie, there are plenty more but these are the ones that i usually see all the time. I think we fight too much, everyone is after everyone, but you know, we're girls, what do you expect? LIFE LESSON : GIRLS ARE VISCOUS.

I have a boyfriend his name is Dominick. I love him so much, but sometimes it gets really tough with him, we fight a lot, which isn't unusual. He is a patient person, and good because that's the only kind of person that can handle me. He worries about me, A lot. He probably thinks that one day that i will pull a trigger on myself, but I'm not the kind of person who would do something like that.

I have a really bad temper, it gets really bad sometimes, Kristen is the only one who knows how to deal with it, and she is the only one that can. but most of the time i am pretty much a go with the flow, "hey what do you want to do" kind of person. I love alternative music, but i usual listen to the kind not many people know about, i don't know why, i guess i just like having things to myself. I might listen to a lot of alternative, BUT I LOVE THE 8O's! I wish i was born in the eary 7O's so that i would experience the 8O's, i would do anything just to do that, but i can't. i really lovethe 8O's, it's big hair, cool colorful clothes, and mostly it's classic music, it's music that made history. Music is my life. If i had to describe myself, i would say funny, not to be conceited but, i know how to make people laugh, my sister, Riane must of pee'd herself like 12322 times in her life because of me. I have not only one sense's of humors, but i must have like 343 humors, because i can joke about anything, in anyway you want me to baby. I'm a clutz but the thing is, is that I've never been to the hospital for myself, would that be an irony? i dont know.